I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Candid Conversation.

The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an iconic tough guy. But, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several critically acclaimed comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.

The Role and That Line

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger plays a tough police officer who masquerades as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. Throughout the story, the crime storyline functions as a simple backdrop for Arnold to have charming interactions with kids. Without a doubt the standout belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere rises and declares the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”

The boy behind the line was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. In addition to this part encompassed a character arc on Full House as the bully to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the child who returns in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with multiple films in development. Additionally, he engages with fans at the con circuit. Recently shared his recollections from the set of Kindergarten Cop over three decades on.

Memories from the Set

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was an open call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all patiently queue, be seen, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and that was it. My parents would help me learn the words and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.

Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was very kind. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which I guess stands to reason. It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a good work environment. He was great to work with.

“It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — he was a big deal — but he wasn't scary to me. He was simply playful and I only wanted to hang out with him when he wasn't busy. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. It was the coolest device, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your days on set as being positive?

You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a huge film, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the legendary director, the location shoot, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I knew how, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

That Famous Quote

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember how it happened? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word taboo meant, but I understood it was edgy and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given approval in this case because it was comedic.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. Some character lines were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they refined it on set and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Let me think about it, let me sleep on it" and took a short while. She really wrestled with it. She said she had doubts, but she believed it would likely become one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.